Time To Stop Toughing It Out!
As I continue my journey of becoming my own beloved and reflect on the self-love summit, I have noticed something important. A number of themes are emerging that really speak to the heart of the transformation journey. One that is really standing out for me right now is the topic of toughing it out. Too many of us have learned to ignore our feelings and other parts of our experience that are not considered “okay” (according to who I wonder?).
Here are a few of the common symptoms of toughing it out:
- We swallow feelings and let them fester inside.
- Others treat us poorly and we don’t speak up.
- Our needs come last after everyone else is “happy” or comfortable (which never happens).
- We stop pursuing our passions and wait for a magic some day.
- Our body tries to get our attention and we just keep pushing on because there isn’t enough time. Eventually, something big happens and we suffer as a result.
- We are exhausted, but afraid to slow down or rest.
- Instead of living a unique life that speaks to us, we try to fit in and be more like others around us.
Tune In Instead Of Toughing It Out
The obvious remedy is to tune in more deeply to ourselves and our experience. There are times when the most loving thing to do is notice that life is really challenging. Or that despite our best efforts we can’t seem to make headway.
There are not enough spiritual gymnastics in the world to help us in certain situations. And instead of admitting we are struggling. Or instead of asking for help when we need it the most, we start beating ourselves up using our inner critic. See if any of these statements sound familiar to you:
- You should have known!
- Nothing you do is ever right.
- You need to try harder.
- No one will love you if you feel, think or act that way.
- You are always doing this wrong!
It’s all too familiar, isn’t it! Alas, enough of the critic’s messages, who wants to spend time in that wasteland anyway? But I am guessing you know exactly what I am talking about because we have all been there (more than once).
What if instead of all of that response, you found yourself asking what you needed most instead of how can you tough this out?
Help Yourself First Instead of Toughing It Out
Once you tune in, then you have the good fortune of knowing what you most need. Is your inner child screaming for your attention in some way? Are you in need of a supportive friend to listen or give you a hand? Do you need some time in Mother Nature to calm your mind and deepen your breathing?
Once you get over the need to tough it out, a whole new world of possibilities opens up for you. And in the end, if we could just remember, that the love, attention, approval, appreciation, and every other thing we seek from external sources is a neon sign. The neon sign is reminding you to stop, tune into what is true for you, and love yourself more fiercely than ever before.
Workshop – Building Relationship Harmony is set for Saturday May 13th. Join me as I partner with my colleague, Brian Zirngible LMFT, to provide a workshop about self-care and healthy masculine/ feminine energy. The workshop takes place in Burnsville, MN.
Brian and I did a short intro video so you can see that while we have serious content to help you, we have playful and entertaining hearts to keep the process engaging!
This workshop will:
- Give you permission to practice self-care and create a plan to insert more self-care into your life
- Discuss some of the common masculine and feminine pressures and expectations
- Explore healthy masculine and feminine archetypes
- Discuss some of the common differences between the masculine and feminine ways of being in the world that can make relationships challenging
- Learn how to apply a number of easy tools to help you build relationship harmony
To learn more and register, click here
This book takes you on a personal journey for 30 days to strengthen your connection with your Divine Feminine Energy and your creative genius. It will remind you that everyone is creative and there are multiple ways to express creatively in the world. The daily pages are filled with reflections, inspiration, and activities that support you on this important transformation journey.
And if you are looking for the companion audio that helps you welcome your creative genius home, you will find it on my Resources page.
Until Next Time…
Share in the comments below or on my Facebook page, how can you tune and care well for yourself instead of toughing it out?
Ready to have support holding your heart and building a life that leaves you Vibrant. Imaginative. Unforgettable.? Please schedule a discovery session with me using my online scheduling system. You will get the joy of creating a shift in your life and decide what happens from there.
If you would like the support of a Facebook community that is focused on supporting heart-centered living, join Closeted Creatives Coaching. There are regular posts to inspire you, spark your imagination, help you become more vibrant, and lead a life that is as unique as your fingerprint.
Blessings on your journey of softening to and embracing your beautiful heart!