My Story: From Disenchanted to Vibrant. Imaginative. Unforgettable.
I put my creativity on the shelf for the most part, and became an overachieving and hyper responsible person. I was super concerned with what everyone else thought about me and how I lived my life. I just wanted to make others happy and was willing to bend, twist and sacrifice to make it happen (I call this time in my life the human pretzel years). I ended up giving up more and more of myself as I tried so hard to be like everyone else. Eventually I was only happy when I was making others happy – and we all know that strategy never works!
I became the classic corporate woman who was always stepping up and taking on more work and responsibility while shoving down my frustration and complaints. There was no satisfaction left in my life, but I was unwilling to stop and ask myself for directions. I was too busy pushing through and bending myself silly. I did what I had to do in order to be a success in the world, no matter the cost to me or my health.
Then I entered my 40s and I really hit a wall. I knew I couldn’t go on the way I had been any longer. I went through the harrowing process of unbuttoning all of the tight, corporate and people pleasing behaviors that I had come to think of as normal. I woke up to the fact that I had no real idea who I was anymore. I had moved from a marriage that didn’t serve me to jobs that didn’t serve me. The emptiness and pain were overwhelming.
I worked with an amazing counselor and a brilliant coach who helped me get in touch with who I was and how I best operated in the world. Low and behold nothing I was doing was really working in my life! During this time it became clear that my creativity was a huge part of my life and had been MIA for too long. I started following a style coach who helped me find my authentic style voice. This led me to dress differently and make different decisions about how I showed up in the world. Her key phrase – ” Stop thinking and feel, feel, feel!” I started taking voice lessons with a magician of a voice teacher who taught me week after week how to uncover my true voice and just show up to work with the voice that was available that day. I took art and dance classes, and joined a women’s writing group. I started a large tattoo on my back to turn the pain of my life into a work of art. And the rest they say is history.
My creativity is not only reignited, but at this point, she runs the show on a regular basis! Said with all the love in my heart of course. It has been a major transition to reorient my life around my creativity instead of only my responsibility. But every step of the journey has been amazing!
The great news is that I am building work and a life that make my heart sing. I feel so alive I can barely believe I am the same person anymore! A whole new version of me has emerged and she has attitude. I call this new version, Vanessa. That’s the “sexy” name I always wanted to have growing up and it fits perfectly right now. I am fully reclaiming my most authentic self, trusting my own inner voice and wisdom, showing up full of my special brand of unique in the world, and following my dreams for my life.
I am no longer empty and disenchanted with the daily grind! I am passionate about my life and my contribution to the world. And in turn, this drives me to create a community of women who want to reignite their inner creative genius so they can show their true colors in the world.
If you are feeling empty and disenchanted, take the leap and reignite your inner creative genius! I promise it will be the best decision you ever make. Because the world needs your unique contribution.
I can’t wait to see what your inner creative genius has to share with the world!